Moving into Tomorrow’s Present Moment

This is such an odd place and time in life…A blur between coming and going…The closing of a chapter and the start of a new one.

A changing of place.
A celebration of family.
A mourning of loss…
identity
friends
family

I’ve lived a life of ‘Feet planted firmly in Mid-Air’ yet this feels so different – not only are my feet planted in mid-air but I can’t seem to identify what is up and what is down. I’m lost. I feel as though – not only am I lost but I’ve been lost by others. Not really sure why I feel this way – I only know that this is how I am feeling. A feeling that somehow I won’t be missed, that life will be better without me, that this community of people will forget me. What do we have in this life without remembrance? One just disappears…vanishes – like a wisp of smoke, slowly dissipating on the currents of memories.

Maybe that is my fear – that I won’t be remembered. What does it mean to be forgotten? To be lost in the valleys of fading recollection. Becoming a ‘remember when’ as opposed to a participant in the present moment.

Sure there will be new present moments – but those are ‘yet’ and this IS my current ‘present moment’ – fear and darkness creep into my peripheral whispering into my soul the things that will be lost and forgotten. Hope lingers ahead – but at a distance too great to grab ahold – though I know she is there and that she will indeed wait for me – biding her time in sweet serenades drawling me ever forward.

I must keep walking. Even if but a step at a time. Moving into tomorrow’s present moment.

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One thought on “Moving into Tomorrow’s Present Moment

  1. The difference between what our mind knows and what our heart believes can be in startling contrast sometimes. I hope your mind can accept this, so that eventually your heart can catch up. Please know that the true test of remembrance is what is printed on our hearts. You have had a hand in changing mine. And although I know that Facebook and the other avenues of social media will allow us to stay in touch, it is the change that you have made in how I see the world and my faith that is your true legacy…and is so much more that the remembrance of the more mundane moments of shared experience. (I will miss those too.)

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