Chewsday’s Rumination: Does G_d Want Us to Fail?

RuminatingGreat title huh? Does G_d want us to fail?” I suppose that was a bit unfair since there is a part(s) to the question that I left out. The full question, I think, is: Does G_d want us to try and fail or to just not try at all?

I know that my gut response was immediately: Of course G_d wants us to try! But here is what I’m chewing on today…what if that failure is sin? What if I attempted to do something but the result of my effort is sin? Would it have been better to not have attempted it?

Now, if you know me, you’ll know that a well earned sin has never slowed me down…so I would go for it. But here is my concern…I don’t know that my proclivity for sin is so well accepted amongst the religious. What I am attempting to say is that I hear many folks in the church concerned about decisions [to the point of inactivity] because of a fear that their choice could lead to committing a sin.

Have you said, or heard someone else say, “I’m not sure if this is what G_d wants me to do or if it is just me?” Ultimately, this results in only a few folks ‘going for it.’ – Is the good LORD really playing cat and mouse with our faithfulness? Is He going to unleash hell if we run with reckless abandon after what we believe to be good and righteous?

As a father this feels familiar (though off the top of my head I don’t have a good example): I would desire that my son attempts what is good and right with fervor and excitement…even if it results in him ‘failing’ and ultimately doing something that he’s not allowed to do. I thought about an instance when he retrieved a friend’s kickball from the street because the child (younger than him) was going to run out for it…My son knew that the right thing to do was to help him (and protect him) but ultimately he failed to follow our rules for him – not going out into the street on his own!

How often do I go out into the street in order to do what is good and right? Would it be better to do nothing? My son now understands that the better choice would be to take his friend with him to get an adult to retrieve the ball…but I bless G_d that he is the type of person that will risk messing up in order to care for the people around him.

Does G_d want us to fail?

Tomorrow’s Today

I always loved the quote, “The best part about waiting until tomorrow is that it never gets here!” Yet so much of life seems to be focused on Tomorrow’s Today – we spend so much of our life living for it. Much of my life is spent preparing (sermons, meetings, discipling, etc.) for things that aren’t the now – In fact I’m not certain I even understand the concept of “daily bread”.

So much of life is spent elsewhere; so little is spent right here, right now…why? Even while in the middle of meetings we are always checking emails, text messages, facebook, calendar appts. – none of which are present (physically or within time).

Are we afraid of the present? Are we afraid of who we are now! Not who we hope to become but rather who we are right now. When our focus remains in Tomorrow’s Today we always have the opportunity to become something else…someone else. Why?

What if we started believing that we are perfectly suited for Today’s Today? That doesn’t mean that we are flawless but rather we are simply complete – right now. Tomorrow we will have learned and grown (in some way) therefore becoming complete for that day, but if we are always waiting for Tomorrow’s Today we will never arrive…never be (or feel) complete – we will live in the perpetual when of Tomorrow.

This isn’t really meant to be anything that anyone else will understand – just what I needed to be reminded of Today.

Today I am me.
We’ll have to wait and see about tomorrow!

Moving into Tomorrow’s Present Moment

This is such an odd place and time in life…A blur between coming and going…The closing of a chapter and the start of a new one.

A changing of place.
A celebration of family.
A mourning of loss…

I’ve lived a life of ‘Feet planted firmly in Mid-Air’ yet this feels so different – not only are my feet planted in mid-air but I can’t seem to identify what is up and what is down. I’m lost. I feel as though – not only am I lost but I’ve been lost by others. Not really sure why I feel this way – I only know that this is how I am feeling. A feeling that somehow I won’t be missed, that life will be better without me, that this community of people will forget me. What do we have in this life without remembrance? One just disappears…vanishes – like a wisp of smoke, slowly dissipating on the currents of memories.

Maybe that is my fear – that I won’t be remembered. What does it mean to be forgotten? To be lost in the valleys of fading recollection. Becoming a ‘remember when’ as opposed to a participant in the present moment.

Sure there will be new present moments – but those are ‘yet’ and this IS my current ‘present moment’ – fear and darkness creep into my peripheral whispering into my soul the things that will be lost and forgotten. Hope lingers ahead – but at a distance too great to grab ahold – though I know she is there and that she will indeed wait for me – biding her time in sweet serenades drawling me ever forward.

I must keep walking. Even if but a step at a time. Moving into tomorrow’s present moment.